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Random Thoughts

Is a person capable of change? A full on rehabilitation? I’ve been jaded for many years now. Feelings of love and compassion as fleeting as the random attempts to conform to a life of normalcy. I think normal is a myth.

 I sometimes watch strangers. It’s amazing what people do when they think no one is watching.  I noticed an older couple at the grocery store. The woman has a special shoe for walking. The man stands behind her assiduously and with extreme ardor. He holds his hand out almost touching the small of her back as she moves or reaches. His hands not close enough so she feels powerless but there maybe to ease his own mind. It was as if that were the sole purpose of his shopping experience. The emotions he feels for her apparent in every movement just as her comfort knowing he is there for her. That day I watched in complete Awe as the two went about their regularly scheduled program. It’s been 3 years since that day. And I still cry every time I visualize them. I wonder if I'll ever know that kind of love.

Maybe it’s something with grocery stores because I watched a father and his Daughter on Saturday. The father in an obvious hurry telling his daughter to wait as she screams and cries that she has to potty.  The girl looked to be about 4 years old. The father tells her he’s almost done and actually passes the bathroom while his daughter is becoming more and more insistent. She is literally begging him to take her to the bathroom And he still tells her to wait. He gets in the line to check out and at this point he is holding her and she is
no longer able to wait and the whole front of his shirt was soaked and I had to
Shake my head b/c he allowed her to be that pained and humiliated. She was
so devastated. She was apologizing to him. What kind of a sick person could
do that to their own child? What makes us such selfish creatures?


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you & I

finely lined
etched writing on stone
this parody
you play the only role
take my hand
you'll never hold my heart
I see past you
here I am
Playing along
time and time again
this gimmick
you should change things up
hold my hand
please tell me more lies
biding my time
carrying out the pantomime


the days run together
paint dripping in the wind
dismal colors
it's night again
over and over
I know it will never end
I'm not where i belong
no road feels right
the sun never touches my face
you are gone
fast forward; rewind
things look dissimilar
standing this far away
always waiting
looking at your life
I know what you meant
this doesn't feel like home
wash me away
Drown it out
I can’t hear what you say
Caught up in the sound
Live again
Revisit the lost and found
Here we are; where we’ve always been
Beyond the glass I don’t care what you say
Envelope my mind
Pull me in Don’t let me press rewind
Time I don’t want to slip way
Now that I found you I just want you to stay