Welcome Home

Quietly
The Night Moves In
Desolation steals the light
Fruitless efforts
I try to smile once more
There's a nightmare
Just beyond the unlock doors
The empty hands
In a manic Frenzy
Gravely Sipping
From Insanities cup
How very sweet
Emptiness tastes
As dejection invades
the vacant spaces
The sun shine may never
Bless this place again

The Ride

Time isnt a friend of mine
Always on the blind side
Too soon
Too late
Lost within myself
Nights, days
Astray in the weeks
Will there ever be an end
You never catch me
I struggle to breath again
I couldn't see your expressions
I guess I'll never know
Stone faced I made my way
Outwardly emotionless
Welcome to this jaded show

Sand in my shoe

Sometimes
I find myself
Here where we began
A picture
Of a beach night kiss
I beg my heart
Why do I do this
It took me so long to understand
The beginning
The end
Both a sudden twist
The whole time fighting
Emotions I can't trust
Looking back
I always knew
I loved you more
Than the fear I cling to
I just couldn't lay to rest
The demons
That held my heart from you

Retraced steps

The umbra faded away
As I began
I can't look back
Forward me
Has new shoes to fill
 On a hill of sentiment
I firmly stand
No white flag
No angle to defend
Uninhibited
I escaped
The path
I marked the end.

The other side

Pounding heart
Clinching the phone in my hand
One word
Dammit any word
I feel your laughter
Burning my face
I'll never reach you
Why can't you let me in
What plays in my mind
Every time
Am I crazy because I'm here
Looking in
I just can't see out
Turn around
Can you hear my words
Let it resonate
Marinate in your mind
The truth
Looks different on every side

Where you dream

It's difficult feeling so sorry
I can't look at my face
Holding my own hand
Time still moves
Though I remain the same
Everyday a reminder
This ribbon around my finger
Please
Fill my cup half full
I'll drink you into life
Dream my dream
Follow my whispers
I'll be beside you tonight

Media

I don't want to be stagnated
Locked inside my mind
I don't want to be suppressed
Pull back that heavy hand
No puppet strings
Forced words to sing
Walk away from me

Reality

Is this something new?

You think you deserve a hand

Your one up game

Head in the clouds

superlative

you’ve started a chapter

a cycle set

over and over

You’re just a carry on character

Repeating the same storyline

But you want a congratulation

For living out another man’s dream

That ended in chapter three

Again

Am I holding on or letting go
Wasting my time just watching the show
Evil how you pull me in
There I am Walking the Tightrope again
Back and forth my emotions sway
Once again my soul on display

Remember When

Sit back and watch all the little things

The secrets you thought were safe

I’m not your fool; I’ve long since quit that gig

Left the dirty pool of your self-loathing

Like a cat in the box you covered your shit

But that never lasts forever

The mask of innocence breaking away

I see how hideous you really are

Everything in me wants to hate the air you breathe

Reality is your insecurities and selfishness saved me

July

Your words are middling

Lack of effort proves much more

It’s easy to make promises

But that you already know

I love you... such simple words?

They fell meaninglessly from your lips

An empty heart lacks the devotion

To ever follow through

Lies and deceit boxed so cleverly

A sweet little bow around your pride

Beautification is only temporary

That pretty smile will fade too

years ago

 A million mysteries

A lifetime of holding back

Before I met you

I reach within myself

You are all I find

A story of a broken heart

Nothing new

Wanting to extend my barrier

To include you

Yet I only drive you away

What was real?

I may never know

In my mind I envisage

Your words came from your heart

Your actions

Were only reactions

You being apprehensive

And who am I to point blame

Fear is a flesh eating demon

Consuming you inch by inch

Placing your heart on display

And I encouraged the trepidation